A dear friend recently reminded me of a memory we shared. It wasn't just one memory..it was a happy bundle of memories all coming from one day. This made me realize some things:

  1. Memories can help you through some of the toughest times

• When my Gram recently passed away, I felt like it was an end. Then I realized that she's still alive to me in the many memories we've shared.

2. Pictures really are worth a thousand words

•  Seeing a picture can bring up numerous memories. All it takes is one moment caught on camera.  

3. You get what you take from a memory. Look at the positive and that's what you'll always                remember.

•  When I think of my Gram's final days in the hospital, it's not always positive, but what I'll always take from that experience is how close our family was through it all. Reminiscing about times with her helped us all, I believe. 

4. There's always room for reminiscing about memories. 

• Instead of catching up on the gossip, catch up with each other and laugh about memories shared together rather than worry about other people's business. 

5. Any way you look back on your memories, they are yours.

• Cherish them. 

This all makes me wonder how many people actually cherish and think about memories they once shared with a loved one. I know I constantly think about memories. Almost anything can recall a memory if you let it. Some are happy and some are not as joyful, but a memory is a memory. Without that instance, how much different could your life be? Perhaps not different at all, or quite possibly, drastically different.

 I would love to hear any memories that you may cherish..no matter the emotion that was inflicted. There's something about sharing memories with people that gives a sense of comfort and joy.

Keep on making memories. They may just live forever. 

Aletha Madeline Sleppy (Cook)

February 15, 1923 - December 18, 2011

These 2 dates will stick with me forever. The first one I'm so very grateful for because without it, I wouldn't be here and I certainly wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for my Gram. The last date I'll never forget because it was the last day I was graced by her physical presence, but it's never the end.

I strongly believe in an afterlife, and I believe that when you get to Heaven, you're somewhere in your twenties, and I hope that's so true for my Gram so her and my Grandpa can re-live their life together, but this time, with no worries. There's no way to describe the inspiration my Gram provided everyone that knew her with, but there's one thing I know for sure, I'll never forget the subtle ways she inspired me. - *her strength, her stubbornness, her grace and beauty, and her independence* are just some of the things I hope to acquire as I age and become my own person. Her battle and what I call a victory with lung cancer may be the biggest inspiration of all. How many people, at her age, would be stubborn enough to fight cancer? Not many, but she was. COPD is what the doctors claim ended her life, but I think it was just time and she was ready. I've made peace with that. 

Just by what I've said before, you may be thinking that my Gram was the "standard" Grandma from the 20s, but you would be so wrong in that assumption. Every Grandma is different and every Grandma should be cherished in the ways my Gram was. You could say my Gram resembles Betty White. That's what I always think. Witty and funny with a lot of sweetness in the mix. But still her own person.

I was blessed to have my Gram in my life as much as she was and I know I wouldn't be the person I am today without her. She played a big role in raising me and only God knows what I would be like if she wasn't. Well, I have a hunch but I'm not going to go there. I spent a lot of time with my Gram the past 3 years and I'm so very grateful for that. But honestly, there's nothing I wouldn't give to make her dinner one more time, take my dogs to visit her once more, and watch Days of Our Lives with her one more time and joke about it. We didn't get to spend Christmas with her, but Thanksgiving 2011 was one that I will never forget. I'll just keep those memories out of this because she would find a way to smack me if I told the funniest one of all :)

People say that death can make or break a family. Our family is as close now as we were when Gram was here with us physically, except for that one person I won't bother to bring up. She always brought us together and she will continue to do just that. She was the last of her generation in the Cook family, but the legacy lives on. To even think of what the Cook reunion will be like this summer is a scary thought, but she wouldn't want them to stop. And why would we want them to? I'm sure there's memories we all have just begging to be shared in her honor.

The memories with her live forever in our hearts and in plenty of pictures. *I hope you're playing it sweet in heaven and staying out of trouble.* <3

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~ Emily Dickinson

It's probably no secret that Mother Teresa's "Anyway" poem has become my most favorite poem that I've ever read. Much thanks to my twitter family for sharing it and introducing me to it. I seriously cannot get enough of it. LOVE http://dbooth.org/guat2000/small/teresa.htm

So.. to no surprise, I wrote my first paper for my Reading Poetry class on this poem. The paper was to be a simple and short paper telling what poem you feel has merit and all that good stuff. I'll just paste what I wrote because I'm in a cheesy mood. <3 

Many people have different interests and subjects that they relate to.  Aren’t we all attracted to various things that touch us or have a heartfelt meaning? When thinking of poems that do that for me, Mother Teresa’s “Anyway” poem comes to mind.

            I feel as if “Anyway” has merit for many reasons besides the fact that she’s already a Nobel Peace Prize recipient. This poem is a favorite of mine because the majority of the poem is about taking risks and living for you. Not only is it about living for yourself, it’s also about doing what makes you happy regardless of what anyone else says. The line, “the good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway” may be the line that sticks out the most for me and holds the most merit. In today’s society, we are pressured to do what the majority is doing, but this poem clearly shows the many ways that you’re a better person for being an individual and not caring about the judgmental world.

            It could be my love for simplicity, but I love this poem because it doesn’t require much thought to understand the message and theme. The tone and style is sincere, to the point, and serious at the same time. When you learn from a poem, you know it holds merit in your heart. Through this poem, I have learned that your true self is the best thing you can be and share with the world. 

I could've wrote a lot more about it, but he wanted it to be less than a page. Boooo. 

<3 

The trials and tribulations we've been through only make us stronger. The hard times can only outweigh the good times if you let it. Since my mom was 49, we've had so much thrown at us, but ya know... it ALWAYS could be worse. In the past year & a half, we've shared many laughs and maybe too many sad tears, but I can tell you what I remember: I remember the laughs more than the tears; I remember the family times more than the hospital visits; and I remember the many times when my mom felt great rather than the not so healthy times. Those, my friend, have only made us better people. I can handle problems a little better now, and my mom knows how to appreciate the good days. The radiation she starts tomorrow for 3 weeks is just another bump in the journey. It's all about memories. Bad memory: her doc telling her she has 6-12 months to live and might as well not even bother with chemo. Good memory: mom seeing that same doc in the elevator a year+ later and me holding back laughter because she wanted so badly to rub it in his face that she's still alive. Ya see? And that's just one of the good memories. As long as this birthday isn't a repeat of last years', I couldn't ask for more. There will be no mini stroke, there will be no hospital visits on her birthday, and no fear. None. Zilch.

I'm grateful for today. My family is blessed. I'm taking my Gram, little brother, and of course my mom out for lunch. (I actually made enough this weekend to do that + go on vacation!) That reminds me! Most of our good times revolve around food. Imagine that. :)

Happy 51st Birthday mom!! I can't wait to see what this year brings.

Xox

Done. Definition: Having been carried out or accomplished; finished; Informal Totally worn out; exhausted.

That's exactly what I am. Done. Finished. I can't do it anymore. 

Is caring too much even such a thing? Or maybe in some aspects it's pointless? One can only do and say so much. 

In your case, person that will remain nameless, drinking everyday is not considered healthy(rarely heavy drinking). Nor is smoking..no matter how little you smoke in a week, blah blah blah. Not to mention, I find it tastless and rude to hide it from those that care about you most. But who am I to care or say anything?

If you're reading this... This blog post has NOTHING to do with you. Sorry...just doesn't. If you do any of the above, rest assured that I still care about you and once again.. it's not about you. Please notice the "in your case" because the person that's doing these things should care more about their health, and I can just about guarantee that this person will not be reading this.

Gawd..why does this hurt me so much? Meh. Probably because I was raised to care. 

My opinion=nothing. My choices=my choices. And yet, everything and anything I do can never seem to be the "right" thing. You think the friends that I sometimes hang out with use me, I think they make me laugh and everyone knows how much I love to laugh. It's my medicine. The places I visit are places that make me super happy, but you think I have responsibilities to attend to and shouldn't go. I know I have responsibilities, and they're ALWAYS taken care of, but I have to get away when I can. 

I think you have a life to live and you seem to think little of it until it's something urgent & HUGE.

We're obviously too much alike. One main difference: I truly care. I consider all the consequences of my actions before I do them. I want a family someday and I want to be healthy when I'm older to be a role model to whoever needs one. 

I'll never stop caring. Especially about you, nameless person. And I'll always love you. Probably more than you know. 

BUT.. when it comes to my opinion, I'm keeping my mouth shut. It's clearly not worth it, and everytime I try, I fail miserably & it just hurts me more. 

Yes, I AM that pathetic. 

Go ahead and give me your brutal opinions on how selfish you think I'm being. OR if you can figure out the right word for what I'm feeling..go for it cause for the life of me, I can't figure it out. 

This, in a sense, describes what I feel like anymore:

God is great; But sometimes life ain't good; And when I pray; It doesn't always turn out like I think it should; But I do it anyway; I do it anyway ~Martina McBride 

Love, Angel. Xox

Took Korbin (baby) for vaccinations then walked along & played in the river. Then I weedeated at Grams<3 all in one. Perfection.

I say she's 19. She's my baby, my best friend, like a sister to me, and she's also a Schnauzer/Terrier mix. Go ahead and judge. But truthfully, she's 133 in dog years. Can you imagine?!? 133! Now, that's amazing. 

Can I prove her age? Nope. I don't have papers for her. That doesn't mean I don't roughly know. 

What's the earliest age you think you can have a memory from? She is the reason for my first actual memory. 

All I can remember is being 1 and my Grandpa Sleppy taking me to the animal shelter to pick out my very own dog for my birthday. I can clearly recall peeking into one of the kennels and seeing a mom nursing some puppies. There's no pictures of this, that I could find, so it has to be all memory. That's all I remember, clearly. I even got to pick her name!! Hence it being Lisha (pronounced Leesha). I was one, okay? 

I wish I had old pics of her. From when she was a puppy. Unfortunately, I don't, but what I do have, is 19 years worth of memories from her. 

We literally grew up together. I was 1 and she was just old enough to leave her mommy. When I was down, she knew. Specifically, I can remember crying on the front porch and before I knew it, she was by my side. I wasn't calling her, I wasn't screaming, I was sobbing. And she was there. Whether I wanted her there or not, she was there. Ya know what? It helped. She has killed wild animals in her days and chased a few cats up the tree, but no matter what animal I've ever had, she's never ever harmed it or given any signs of concern.

I've always been grateful for her and she constantly makes me smile. 

That's HER chair. Literally, nobody ever sits there (except for when Aadin wants to cuddle with her). :) 

Nowadays, she may not be her same, young self, but we all age. Our bodies change. She's deaf now, but she can definitely see. She gets around pretty well. Sure, she has arthritis, but she takes senior dog vitamins and it definitely helps. She comes and goes as she pleases. Never gets tied out. I mean, everyone in the neighborhood(on the road), knows her. She's great with other dogs and LOVES people. Including kids. I feel like her past is what got her this far. Yes, she's all caught up on her shots and everything she's required to have, but she doesn't get any useless(using that word carefully) vet trips. It may help some dogs, maybe even the majority, but she's done perfectly without. 

Let me just throw this in there: if ONE more person tells me that I should put her down, I will put you down and out of your misery, you jackasses!!!!

Get the point? She's fine. I live with her. She doesn't seem to me to be suffering. But no...why would I know her? it's not like we grew up together or anything. Ha! Okay, so she has an accident in the house once in a while, but does that mean we'll put you down when you're old and in diapers? NO. Didn't think so. But honestly, if I thought and truly felt and saw she was in pain or struggling, I wouldn't want her to live like that. Back to positive and happy thoughts because, if I have my way, she'll always be immortal. Don't crush my dreams.

This here picture ^, is a perfect example that she can see just fine. All I have to do is wave my hand a certain way and she comes.

Through all the animals I've had, she's never shown jealousy. I'm not perfect, she hasn't always gotten all of my attention. Yes, I have 2 boys, but I can almost guarantee that all the dogs I've had help keep her going. They play with her and it perks her up. She sasses back. That's a sure sign of life. Is she just gunna lay there when they're being hornballs? Nope, she tells them to back the hell off before I can say "NO". 

Most importantly, I'm blessed. I can't imagine what these past 19 years of my life spent with her would be like without. As I'm approaching 20, she's 19 already. She's always there. She's my baby and I spoil her. I'm the only person that can pick her up without her nipping. Only mommy can do it. It's an undeniable bond. Similar to a sisterly bond, or as if we've been best friends since almost birth.

 

Lisha and I are living the legacy of dog being [wo]man's best friend. <3